Building on an amazing day

September 14, 2022

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Yesterday I felt amazing, better than I have in a long time. As my own positive and powerful energy coursed through my veins, I was full of confidence and self-fulfilled. I felt as if I finally was living in abundance. I know that this energy radiated from deep inside of me, observed by all of those that I engaged with and even those that I didn’t. I was glowing! I cannot even begin to express how incredible I felt! During the day, I even attracted and received some beautiful familiar energy from an external source that just compounded the feeling I was experiencing. This was unexpected by welcomed. With everything that I did, I moved with purpose and intention. It was the best day I have had for as long as I can remember.

I felt as if I was able to provide everything that I needed from within. I felt whole and complete, and it felt really good.

When I got to my house last night, I had to quickly journal about some of the days experiences because I wanted to solidify the feeling. As soon as I was done, I jumped back on my motorcycle so I could go wish a good friend happy birthday. Originally, I had no intention of going. I don’t drink right now (not that I had a problem, just focusing on what matters) and I knew they would all be partying it up, not to mention I hadn’t really been feeling overly social. Luckily, I realized that this incredible energy, this amazingly high vibration shouldn’t be wasted sitting in front of my computer writing in my blog. Yes, the blog is a huge help to my mental health, helps me keep track of all the progress I have been making, and feels like an outlet that I have been needing… but it is missing that human interaction.

I arrived to the party around 9:30, walked in and had no idea who would be there or what to expect. It was like a scene from a movie… I walk in wearing all my biker gear, all heads turned my way and I swear the music stopped… I noticed that I had a little swagger back in my step. Like my dad taught me years ago, walk through a place like you own it. I was doing that again, but not even realizing it. I walked past a couple tables and noticed people turning to look at me. Made me wonder if my zipper was down or something. As I got closer to the beach where the party was happening, the birthday girl and her husband saw me. She ran over to me and gave me a huge hug and told me that she was so happy I could make it. Her husband was right behind her and he also gave me a huge hug and told me that he loved me and that it means the world to them that I would show up. After receiving an incredible welcome from everyone there, I though about what her husband said to me. “It meant the world to them that I would show up”. I had felt all day like I was showing up in amazingly new and powerful ways. That I was making incredible leaps forward in my journey and that I was showing up for myself in ways that I had failed before. This was just another way to show up for myself and for those in my life.

I was offered a shot of tequila, which I graciously turned down. Explaining that I was not drinking until I was where I want to be in this journey. They understood and respected that. I ordered a naranjada (orange juice and mineral water with some sweet syrup), and I proceeded to lead a toast. Everyone was silent as I expressed my gratitude for their friendship, love and support. Then began to talk about the beauty that makes up the birthday girl, how her positive energy is intoxicating, her spirit is beautiful, and how everyone who’s lives she has touched is better off having known her. There was some crying involved, but I wasn’t alone in that.

Shortly after the toast, many people came up to me to tell me how happy they were that I was doing so well after the surgery, that I looked fantastic and healthy, and that they were thinking about me and sending me positive energy throughout the process. This further encouraged my new belief that I am worthy, that people love me for me, and that I am appreciated. My vibration was at an all-time high, and this is the way I choose to live my life. Not that I want to be without my partner and feeling as good as I do, but I want to be this person with my partner. Not relying on her to provide me the feelings that I had all by myself, but to benefit from the fact that I feel that way all by myself. I think this is what it feels like when she and I talked about both of us being whole and sharing a life together, not relying on the other to provide us that which we are lacking. It feels beautiful and understand why this is what she always wanted for me.

The place shut down a little over an hour after I arrived. I said my goodbyes, received love and gave love to everyone there. Jumped back on my bike and rode off feeling like I invincible and like I was on top of the world, thinking about the feeling, solidifying it into my memory and enjoying every present moment of it.

This is the way I choose to live my life. Abundant, compassionate, loving, secure, happy, confident, self-assured, and complete. I no longer choose to be afraid to take risks, fear rejection, or fear the unknown.

This is the man that I was meant to be, the man that my partner saw inside of me, behind the masks, fear, and insecurities.

This is now the man I strive to be daily. I have had a taste of it and it was delicious.

Today, I woke up ready to conquer the world, take on any challenges and knowing that I would come out on top. My energy is positive, my vibration is higher than ever, and I know that I have the tools and knowledge to handle whatever comes my way. Turns out, that positive mindset, energy, and way of being was just what I needed. It was the goal that I didn't even know about.

It feels absolutely incredible and I can't imagine ever turning back down the path where this feeling didn't exist. Sure, there may be days that it is a bit more of a struggle. I mean, life happens... but I have a choice as to how I want to be and how I show up. This way of life is my choice.