Energy

It has always been my belief that we are made up of energy that is contained in our physical form. This energy is extremely powerful and abundant. Being the nerd that I am, I also know that energy cannot be created or destroyed, so this has had a profound effect on how I see things in the world. Take death for example, I don't get as upset as many people do when someone that they care for dies. Their energy is just past from their corporal form to another. So, they are never truly gone. As long as they live in our memories, then they are always with us. It is also my belief that we can project our energy, share it with others, and feel the energy of others, as well. I have always carried a very powerful energy, others were always able to feel my energy, bad or good. If something was affecting me negatively, then that would be felt; conversely, they would feel my positive energy as well. This would become very polarizing. The negative would push people away, while the positive would attract.

Many times, I would have a negative feeling regarding something and to others, it was palpable. This negative energy had such an impact on myself and those around me, that no matter how positive their energy was, my negative energy would wash over them and cause issues. I would also have times that my positive energy would have a similar effect. It didn’t matter how negative someone was, my positive energy could turn that around.

In the studying that I have been doing, I have been learning about raising my vibration. Due to the fact that I was living my life from a place of fear, shame and guilt, my vibration was very low. In the work that I have been doing, I have been more focused on living in courage, acceptance, love and willingness. Basically, moving from a contracted frequency to an expanded frequency. This is allowing me to live a more positive and meaningful life as I journey to the best version of myself. This requires me to be more conscious of my environment, letting go of that which does not serve me, and changing my reality. In this, I am becoming much more mindful of my thoughts and thus, allowing me to release negativity that I have been holding onto. This process also involves more self-love, self-acceptance, and being more grateful for that which I experience. The other area that this has been extremely helpful, is in letting go of negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and manipulation.

So, how does that play into my life today? Well, while in relationship, there were times that my partner would feel my energy and it would push her away or change her polarity. I allowed my triggers to dictate my feelings and therefore alter my energy. This was something that, at the time, I had no ability to control. Now that I have greater awareness and the tools to change my reality, I feel that I can hold onto the positive energy, take time to address the negative within, and live a life at a higher vibration. Sure, we all want to reach total enlightenment, but that is unrealistic. I am happy to have entered a conscious flow, as opposed to living life suffering at the lowest frequencies.

I am learning, but I still have times that I fall back. The difference is, now I am aware of this and can change the vibration myself through meditation, breathing, thought, mindfulness and gratitude.

A perfect example of this happened early this morning. I woke up around 5am with a horrible feeling. Immediately I started going to worst-case scenarios to find the cause. My partner and I have always had the ability to feel each other’s energy, no matter what the distance between us. So, in my mind, I immediately attributed the horrible feeling to some sort of energy she was sending me. The subconscious went through every worst-case scenario possible, which in turn made me feel anxiety and fear. I laid in my bed and sat with that feeling for a moment. Thinking about the reality of my thoughts, are they really what are happening or fears that dwell within me, am I truly feeling energy from my partner or am I just missing her and worried, is this something that actually is happening or caused by my fear of the unknown? I took this time to really think about what I was feeling, do some breathing exercise and let go of these feelings. I began to think about best-case scenarios instead of worst… I mean, if I am going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy, then I would like it to be the best case, not the worst. I imagined a life full of adventures and experiences with lots of dancing, loving, travel, growth, happiness and joy. Imagining walking with her, hand-in-hand through all of it. This image replaced the worst-case images that were coursing through my mind, immediately filling me with love and warmth.

The entire process took a couple minutes! Previously, something like this would have sent me spiraling into a dark and ugly place, bringing forth all the negative energy, affecting me for hours, causing me to see reassurance, comforting, and approval from outside sources. Now, I have the ability to look within for all of that.

I focused for a moment, sending positive and loving energy her way, then went back to sleep for a couple hours and when I woke up, I felt good, happy, full of love, and still had the beautiful thoughts about the best-case scenario.

That is such a better way to live and such a relief to know that I have the tools and knowledge to address this when it comes up. With more practice, I am certain that the two minutes that it took will become less and less. Eventually I will be able to address it and let it pass immediately or better, not let those feelings come up at all.

I don’t have any desire to live my life with negativity. When my body is ready to expire, I want beautiful and positive energy to be released and find its way into a new vessel. Our bodies are temporary, our energy is forever. Make that energy contribute to a beautiful and positive world.