Freedom and choice

September 16, 2022

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I just want to put out a quick post about doing your inner-work and the rewards of that work, as well as talk a bit about freedom and choice.

I have been solely focused on my journey for around a month now and I feel like a completely different man. The energy that I put off is positive and powerful, my confidence is at an all-time high, I have a sense of self-worth, and self-esteem. Knowing that I have done work to obtain knowledge and skills that I previously did not have is powerful, but not as powerful as seeing those skills implemented in real-life situations. In the last week, I have found myself implementing those skills without even realizing it. Explaining to others what I have learned if they ask for guidance helps solidify my confidence in my knowledge. But nothing drives it home more than experiencing the shift first hand.

Yesterday, I had an experience that proved to myself that I am making progress. The day before that, another opportunity to prove to myself that I am no longer the insecure and fearful child that I was for so many years.

There is a sense of freedom that is gained by being authentic and living in integrity. Living a life of freedom does not mean that you don't have commitments to others, responsibilities and obligations. It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have to honor your relationships in whatever form those take. Freedom literally means the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. So, you are free to choose what you want when a choice is presented. In relationship, this is a very critical element. Nobody should feel as if they are not free to choose, act, or think without repercussions or judgment. Imposing will on someone is a very good example of removing this freedom.

A beautiful and wise woman told me, “It's only through giving someone absolute freedom, that you can give them the opportunity to freely choose you.” (she did give me permission to use this although I don't think she knew it would be online for the world to see)

These words are so powerful. If one does not have the freedom to choose, then you can never know if they are with you because of an obligation or feeling trapped, or if they really do choose you.

It is like that old saying, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be." Now please don't think I mean that a person is a possession to be yours. But you get the point. You give someone absolute freedom, and if they come back and choose to be with you, then it was because of freewill.

Trust also plays a huge role in this scenario. If you don’t allow freedom, then possible you don’t trust that they will choose you, you don’t trust that you are good for them, or you don’t trust that you are good enough. You can suffocate a relationship very quickly by removing freedom and not having trust.

Trust and choice are two of the most important things that I see in a relationship. Trusting each other fully (really fully), this requires confidence, self-worth, self-assurance, and simply knowing that you and your partner will always have the greater good and purity of the relationship in mind.

As for choice… Like I said in a previous post, to be chosen every day by the person you love is the most amazing feeling in the world. They have the freedom of choosing, and the fact that they choose you is powerful and meaningful. If they are trapped in the relationship, fearing repercussions, or worse feeling as if they are in danger, then they are not free to choose what they want.

Give your partner absolute freedom, trust they will make the best decision and if you are lucky, they will choose you… every day!