Hold my beer...

September 10, 2022

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I am no longer afraid of the journey that I am on, I am excited about it. I am no longer intimidated by that which I didn’t know, I welcome it. I am no longer hiding who I really am, I acknowledge it. I got this!

When I began this journey, it was incredibly intimidating. As I am learning, growing and improving, the journey is no longer so daunting. In fact, I am really enjoying it. Upon starting, I was overwhelmed and feeling like there is so much that I don't know, and even more that I don't know that I don't know. Each day I learn something new and exciting, sometimes terrifying too. I look forward to growing and bettering myself. The lessons I learn and the changes I am going through are apparent and measurable. Something that would have sent me spinning out of control before, now is met with new skills and abilities. So, I get triggered… No big deal, I can look at the trigger, look inside myself, acknowledge the feeling and then think about how I want it to affect me. It is beautiful.

Learning is something that I have always loved to do, learning when I am passionate about something is even better. I want to explore childhood wounds, root causes, my shadow, my inner-self, so the work is not just exciting, but rewarding. Each little bit that I do, leads to something else and that excites the hell out of me. I see and feel transformation, progress and understanding. It isn’t like a school assignment either, where you work had to get a good grade and then forget all about the subject because, really… who gives a shit about the stuff we learned in art appreciation class. This is a life assignment… Something you can and should learn so that you live a more full and complete life, so you can get through life thriving and not just surviving. This is the stuff you want to learn and will remember.

When I first started, I felt like a kid on the first day of class in a subject that he knew nothing about. Now I have confidence and know that not only can I do this, but I am doing this.

Sure, there are bumps in the road, but I keep travelling down the road, soaking it all in, knowing that this will be lifelong learning and that the journey is the destination. There are many parts of my life, the way I was showing up, and the mask that I wore, that I choose to leave in my past as they do not serve me in any way.

There is a beautiful Native American saying that I have been trying to always keep in mind, “We travel only as far and as high as our hearts will take us. If I was to move forward, I needed to leave all that was backward behind. Whatever you carry that invites a backward walking, leave it behind.”

- Anasazi Foundation

I am done walking backward, living in the past, or bringing my past to my present. I move forward towards a beautiful life.

So, Hold My Beer!!!! I GOT THIS!!!