Hypnotherapy - Session 4 follow-up

September 16, 2022

---

Just got back from downtown, had an amazing time by myself. I'm finally drying out, but I'm a bit wired and can't sleep. So I wanted to do a short entry to discuss what I'm experiencing as a result of the last hypnotherapy session because I feel the information is important.

As each day passes I see an incredible change in how I am being in the world. I find myself wanting to do one thing, then thinking about how the secure, confident, and self-assured version of myself would handle it. This has become something that happens rather quickly. I don't have to stop what I'm doing, think about it and then decide how I want to proceed. For example, tonight when I was riding back from downtown, I was on the same path that I would always take to go to my partners house. Soaking wet and riding through streets that flowed like rivers, I approached the turn to her house. I wanted to turn, just to go by and see if I could catch a glimpse of her beautiful smile. Okay... to be completely honest... I really wanted to just go to her house, grab her in my arms and hold her so tight. Look deep into her beautiful eyes and "kiss her lips so soft she'd barely feel it, but deep enough she'd taste me for life" (lyrics from a beautiful song we shared "I See You") and tell her that I love her more today than yesterday. But it would have started with me turning down the street towards her house. My thought process kicked in and I thought, what would the new version of me do in this scenario. He would respect her boundaries, know that she is taking care of herself and her mental and spiritual wellbeing and that she still loves me. When she is ready, she will contact me. He is confident that he still consumes her heart and that she probably thinks of him and misses him just as much as he misses her. That version of me is a smart cookie. So I listened to him. I used to think that maybe during this time apart, she would be going out and open to meeting some new guy, or become involved on some intimate level with someone (that doesn't just refer to sex, but intellectual, spiritual, mental, or physical). To be honest, I don't have those concerns at all now. Of course I don't want that to happen, duh! But I'm not concerned because I feel her energy now and then, it's strong and loving. I don't feel you can hold that energy for someone and pursue an intimate connection with someone else. I know I can't and won't. No to mention, if she still feels about me, like I feel about her, then she wouldn't do that. This new version of me focusses on the good and positive scenarios. I do everything in love and for love. So as I drove by her street, I said the words, Goodnight Darlin', I love you. Sleep well. Then just passed on by.

It made me feel good to be able to say goodnight even if I was a couple blocks away. I'm sure that was pretty cheesy to most of you reading this, but it felt good to me.

As I rode home, I had a good feeling about the way I handled it. The last thing I want to do is disrespect her or her boundaries.

But I'm way off subject now...

The point is, my subconscious is now working for me as opposed to against me. Between the tools I have learned and the skills I have gained, I am able to choose a healthy response to a desire, as opposed to acting on impulse and overstepping my bounds.

Another topic that we went over on hypnotherapy was that trust is a choice.

You don't blindly trust someone you've just met, but once they have proven trustworthy, then you have the choice to trust them. If they are deserving of your trust, then you trust fully... Not just some trust. You either trust or you don't. My partner came up in my last therapy session. The therapist told me that I know I can trust my partner, know that she is just taking care of herself and trust that she doesn't want to do anything to hurt me either. Trust that she will care for my heart as I care for hers, and that the time apart will make us stronger than ever. This really landed and has stuck with me constantly. Whenever I feel a little worried, I remember this and trust completely.

Being apart from her for so long is very difficult, but the tools and skills that I've obtained are making it a bit more tolerable. I still have concerns that I cannot last until January without any contact between us. However, the new confident, trusting, strong, determined, high vibrating, positive self-assured version of me is definitely making the time apart a bit easier to stomach.

The therapy is incredible, things that you didn't think sank in during session, all the sudden cone out when I need them the most. It's a new version of myself, and he is a force to be reckoned with.

He also knows what he wants and is determined to do whatever is necessary to reach that goal.

I show up differently in the world now, I'm present, I have awareness of my feelings and emotions and I have the skills to handle them in the best and healthies way possible.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm going to.

The evolved version of myself is fucking amazing! I can't believe it took this long for me to experience life in this way, but now that I have... There is no other way.

(I don't want to out her information out here without her permission, but if anyone would like to contact my hypnotherapist, send me a message. I will pass you her contact information. She also offers sessions online through zoom. All messages are completely anonymous.)