Hypnotherapy - Session 5 (I'm in control)

Today's therapy session was completely different than all others. Recent events have shown me where I still have some work to do, as well allowed me to witness and appreciate the areas that I have been making progress.

This last weekend was incredible... Worthy of a post all of its own, so keep an eye out for that. 😉

(Here you can find out about how that week began)

In short, I was presented with an opportunity to practice all that I have been learning. In doing this, I realized a few areas that could use a little more focus. One of those areas is feeling okay asking for what I need to be able to process my feelings in the best way possible. Always feeling as if I needed to address things immediately, fix them, and push forward, is not a process that serves me or respects the other person's process. Due to the fact that I would force my process in this way, I would often react and not have time to think about it, process my feelings and then respond.

In discussing this with my therapist, it was discovered that old patterns were emerging due to a trigger pertaining to a recent situation that had come about. It left me feeling powerless, fearing abandonment, and not safe. During this feeling, I reacted from this place of fear. So, as opposed to working on the tools that I already have and just did not successfully implement, we went a different direction. Sure, we discussed the trigger and reaction, what feelings arose from it, and how to deal with those. Asking myself, "Is this really a threat? Is it something that I perceive? Where does it come from?" Answering these questions allows me to realize the source and address that, as opposed to the feeling that it brought up. Here is the best part, I gained another tool to aide in moving closer to what it is I truly desire. A way to reprogram the mind and be able to automatically responding differently to situations.

In this process, I see my most confident, safe and secure version of myself responding to the same situation. I ask myself, "With this self-love, confidence, secure, and safe feeling that this version of myself feels, how could this feel different?"

Well, let me tell you... This future self would respond completely different. He would never feel threatened or insecure, as he would have self-worth and know that his partner will always look out for the health of our relationship. He would trust that the best intentions will always be prevalent, that his partner would always look after the health and purity of the relationship, and trust that she will always live in integrity. Feeling safe, secure and at ease allows future me to be completely present and experience the moment. Trusting her without having to know anything liberates his mind and allows him to focus on the good. He also knows that, allowing your partner the freedom to live their life, and trusting that every day they will choose you, the relationship and the life that you both desire, eliminates all of the concerns that he once had. He knows that this was a conditioned response from his past experiences, attachment style, and core wounds.

He and I are the same person! He has just chosen to let go of that which has not served him, trusts implicitly, and has removed all of the doubt from his life.

This is the version of myself that I choose to be, the life I choose to live and the way I want to show up for myself and others.

With the new version of myself, I feel a sense of pride, confidence, self-worth, and self-love. I know what to do, I know how to do it. Feeling self-control, self-respect and self-love allows me to respond from my most confident and secure self. This allows me to move forward, knowing that I can handle any situation that arises. Each day is a step forward into a life full of amazing possibilities in a life full of freedom, without self-imposed boundaries, with the ability to grow and with a limitless desire to improve. I feel a new sense of security. I am open, honest, and direct in my relationships with other. There is a new ability to recognize and appreciate my talents, knowledge and abilities that was never there before.

I see myself responding in a completely different way in the future. Now I can see that respond as a confident, secure and self-loving partner. Instead of seeing situations as a threat because I am powerless, I see them as an opportunity. They are a chance for me to respond in a way that builds confidence in my partner, allows her to be confident in me and my consistency, expresses the trust that I have for her, and indicates the true feelings of self-worth and self-love that are inside of me. Each time I am met with something that challenges me, something that would have sent me into a spiral of self-doubt, jealousy, fear, possessive behavior, and controlling behavior… I reframe it. With absolute trust, it can become a growth opportunity, a chance to prove to myself that I have the tools and knowledge to handle what comes my way, as well as an opportunity to prove to myself that the fear is not necessary in this relationship. It served me in the past when trust did not exist in the relationship, but that has no place in my current relationship, nor does it belong in my life. I choose to surround myself with people I can trust, that will honor me as I do them, and who will always be consistent in the way they show up. People that will honor the relationship or friendship and always be consistent, trustworthy and allow me to feel secure and safe.

Working on seeing myself as my “future self”, seeing how I would respond, act, feel, etc. has been an incredible way to move toward attaining that version of myself. It gives me a goal and each day I am presented with an opportunity to get closer to reaching that goal. The most amazing part is that, with each step toward my goal, I feel amazing, confident and secure in my own body. It is an immediate reward as I take steps to becoming the man that I want to be. It hurts to stumble now and then, but that is part of the process and makes the progress that much more fulfilling. I can now practice acting in the way that my future self would respond. With each experience, I get closer and closer to being that version of myself. Eventually, that vision of my future self will be my reality.

I feel very confident, a sense of self-worth, self-assured and very happy with everything in my life right now. Every day I see progress and every day I strive to be better than the day before.