Well, that's new

September 15, 2022

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The entirety of the last month has spent dedicated to working on myself. I haven't taken a break at all, for anything. Hell, not even for work! I am a very driven person. When I set a goal for myself, I don't get around to it 'eventually', I jump right in and do the work. Especially when it is something that is so important to me and that interesting to me. In my opinion, if it is worth doing, it's worth doing well and worth all of my attention. As I start to see progress, it becomes even more exciting and drives me to work even harder.

So, for the last month I have been on a crazy ride, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. About two weeks ago I noticed that I have been clenching my jaw at night and grinding my teeth, not to mention not sleeping well. At first, I attributed it to missing my partner, the fear of the unknown and my desire to be holding her at night. Turns out, that is only a part of why.

Yesterday, I was able to realize the progress that I had been making and could feel a sense of accomplishment. I went to bed with a very positive feeling and a sense of pride in myself. I slept well and didn't clench my jaw or grind my teeth.

I am doing it, I see results, I see the better version of myself emerging. It's exciting and I kinda like that guy.

I still have every intention of continuing my journey but also reward myself for all that I have accomplished. My desire to become a better version of myself, a more whole and complete version, a version that has the knowledge and ability to show up in healthy and supportive ways, has never been higher.

Another event that reinforced this feeling yesterday was my Soul Embodiment session. During this session, we did a tarot card reading that gave me chills. The cards told the story of everything I have been experiencing, as well as reinforced that I am on the right path and doing the work necessary. It was as if every card was handpicked for me. I still get chills when thinking about it.

My coach said that the spirit guides expressed that the work I am doing is exactly what needs to be done, that I have the power and ability to accomplish my goals, and that I am on the path to personal abundance. My mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional are all in alignment and focused. The cards also recognized the speed and ferocity in which I am working towards these goals.

When we were done, I was feeling more confident than ever. This just built on the positive and confident feeling that I already had from the hypnotherapy session that morning.

I walked out feeling like the courageous wolf that lives within me was emerging.

This is where it gets weird(er)....

As I was putting on my riding gear, a lady walked by with her puppy on a leash, she smiled and greeted me, I greeted her in return. As she got a couple houses beyond me, a couple street dogs attacked her puppy. She was terrified and trying to get her puppy away from them. There were 3 other men standing around as this happened, not doing anything. I dropped my helmet, ran over to her and reached down to pull the bigger street dog off of her puppy. As I pulled him off by the scruff of his neck, he turned to bite at me. I tossed him across the street. He got up and turned toward me as if he was going to fight back. I looked at him directly in his eyes. He lowered his head and walked away. When I turned to the other street dog, he coward and took off running. I checked on the puppy, he was okay. The lady was extremely grateful as she scooped up her puppy and walked home. I felt as if my inner-wolf came out and took control of the situation in a way that was not overly aggressive, but assertive. I am not a person that would ever hurt an animal, but I will protect those that can't protect themselves.

As I was getting back to my motorcycle, I felt bad for throwing that street dog. I know he was just trying to protect his territory and survive. It reminded me of the way I was living my life... Worrying about surviving and not thriving. The difference is, I had the choice and the street dog was a victim of circumstances. I got back off of my motorcycle and went to a little store about a block away and bought a bag of dog food. I returned to where my motorcycle was parked to find the street dog lying next to it. I sat on the curb and opened the bag. He wouldn't look at me, but he did not run away. I placed some food on the ground close to him and he hesitantly moved closer to it. After a couple minutes he was eating from my hand as I scratched his ears and gave him love. He probably hadn't had a good meal or love in a long time. This fed my soul in so many ways.

Compassion towards animals has never been a problem for me and all animals feel comfortable in my presence. I see that the street dog’s behavior was very similar to my own in the past... Fiercely protecting his area, wanting/needing love and affection, not sure how to react when perceiving a threat (real or imagined), and just trying to survive. The difference is, I have a choice to be that way, I can thrive. I can live in abundance, where he could not. I will always defend my pack and protect them from real dangers, but I don't need to act on perceived or imaginary dangers. My pack will be strong and only need to know that I am there for them if needed.

I plan on bringing him food next time I go to my appointment, support him in living a better life, and showing him love when nobody else does.

He can be part of my extended pack and I will look after him, so he too can experience love, affection, and have a better life.

All of the day’s experiences contributed to a wonderful feeling, one of accomplishment and abundance.

More days like this please.